Today I got an email from my Aunt in georga. When I first started my tests and had the possibility of being diagnosed with lupus she told me I was in her prayers, little did I know not only was I in her prayers, but also in the prayers of individuals I do not even know! The power of love is strong! Love may not be able to cure my RA, or any diease of that matter, but love can help the person battle and push on. Love can make a sick person live longer than he or she was given, without love you feel there is no reason to push forward and give up. I find myself very luck and am sorounded by love. I have
a wonderful family, careing parents, and adorable son, an awesome boyfriend and friends around the world I hope to some day meet! Thank you all for the love! I send my love back to you!


















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It's been a long time!

I kno it's been a long time since I have written, so I'll pick up were I left off, the lupus tests came back negative! Although there will always be a chance I'm clear for now. My doctor is going to give me a diagnosis of rhuematoid in April, and we will start with a treatment! Even though the lupus is clear it still affected my life and would still like to find a way to fundraise for both! Well I must be off to work for now! I'll come back tonight and write some more!


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Breath!!

Ok so last night My back muscles were very sore from hockey! I wanted to relax and make my back feel better but I knew I had stuff to do, so all day was spent cleaning and running arands. When I got back at 6 I knew I had more to do and was planning on doing it. But of corse dad being typical dad had to remind me! We will just leave it as it was a stressful day, so I decided my laundry could wait an hour and I went to lay on my floor to make my back a bit better. However the Canada vs USA game was on and I could hear dad watching the game, so I bought a relaxing cd on iTunes and put In the headphones! Laying there with nothing going threw my head and focusing on my breathing was the most relaxing thing I have ever done! While doing that every pain in my body was lifted! I have decided I want to learn how to properly meditate and possibly tai chi!! I want to do as much as I can to de stress myself and live a healthy life!

As for all the tests results came back but I have a doctors apointment this Thursday to descuss with my doctor, nothing has been flagged however! I will up date again when I know more! Love u all!!!!


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Why can't it always be a good day??

So for almost the past week it's been awesome, close to no pain happy energetic(well mostly) and last night i woke up so much freezing, this morning on the drive I started to feel like I was going to be sick. Now it's 734 am and I am stuck at work for 10 hours :( I have also came to the discovery that when I'm sick I hurt alot more! On a good note tho, had an awesome and eventful weekend with John!!! Can't wait to see him again!!! Ok that's it for now!


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Drawing!!!

I was bored today at work so I decided to draw!!! It is a lupus and breast cancer butterfly!!!! It looks much better and brighter in person however!!


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Get up get up... Sleep

Today I wish I was able to stay In my bed. Did not have a very good sleep and now my hole body is aching, and to add to it a stabbing headache! I enformed my foreman and was told to take it easy but get as much done as I can, he has really turned around with how he treats me since I told him of the pains. I am currently trying to get onto the pcl van, were I will be driving people around all day! Would be a much better job for me and my pains!! Haha I have a feeling I will be working in the dark all day! Yay! Ok have to go back to work now, am trying my hardest to stay awake and moving!! Unroll next time!


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Bone scan

Well first off I won't have the results to my bone scan quite yet they are thinking maybe Wednesday! But the past couple of days felt pretty good, last night we went to earls for dinner and then to yuk yuks for dad and auntys birthday!! It was wicked Fun! But by the end of the night I was flaring pretty bad and had to get my date to take me home. This morning it's pretty much the same, just want to lay here all day and not move! So I'm tired and I guess that's all I can really write for now! Bye for now



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Respect

I would like to take some time to pay my respects to a very wonderful and kind man named Ahwah Low. I worked at the same company as this man and we rode in the same van every morning. On january 31st 2010 Ahwah had a heart attack at 57 years old. He was only 3 months away from collecting his pension. Ahwah always asked how Aron and I were and loved to listen to the stories I told of my son.He was very kind and will be greatly missed! May he rest in peace and never be forgotten.



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I am missing my little man today, as I was walking out the door when I dropped him off at day care he said "love you!" I hate the hours I work, wish I could be a stay at home mom :( i get to pick him up in 10 hours!


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Good Day!

Ok so to write a quick update before bed, today was a pretty good day compaired to the last feiw! However I think I may have over done my self at work, I hardly got anything done this week and wanted to catch up, little did I know how tired it would make me now. So I guess I know that for next time. One more day of work this week and friday I have my bone scan, A little nervous for that but someone did tell me "It will feel better when its over, the stress is hardest waiting." So I will do my best to be strong untill then, Ill have my mom with me that day and I know I will be in all my families thoughts! After the bone scan I plan on going to Grant Macewan to get everything straightened up for school! Who knows maybe Ill even get to start sooner and wont have to go to work any more! yay what a joy that would be! Ok but I am off to bed now! good night all and will possibly update more tomorrow!!

Happy happy happy!

Ok so I said I would update and so I am!! But I'm keepin er short!! He is a very polite respectable handsome young man and I am excited to go out again and learn more!

Yup that's it! All u get to know! Hehehehehehe as for pains I feel pretty good a bit sore but not bad!!


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Days like today

Days like today don’t happen all the time,
I’m usually quite happy and really fine.
I enjoy the days where it doesn’t hurt to walk
When I’m in a good mood, and ok to talk.

But days like today, come very few.
When I hate being me and I could just start new.
Where I don’t have to worry about what’s going on
And feeling this ache doesn’t mean something’s wrong.

Today I am sad that I have Lupus,
And with and pray no one had to go through this.
That a cure was there for me to take a pill.
Instead of heading to more doctors for more crazy bills.

I know I shouldn’t worry about it at all.
But its hard when symptoms start staking ten feet tall.
When my hands swell to where I can’t even write.
Or when my legs hurt so much, I can’t sleep through the night.


When it hurts to see the sun shining down on me.
Or to walk to park just to try and sit under a tree.
To simply open a can of soda to get a simple drink.
Or when it hurts so bad, I can’t even think.

I know everyday is not always going to be like this.
I just wish the bad days, would be the ones I would miss.
When I just feel like sleeping and doing nothing more.
And shutting everyone out, and locking the door.

But the sun goes down and the moon shines bright.
While God helps me though another restless night.
And even though these days may come and come again.
I know He will be with me, always holding my hand.

Home is were I wanna be.

The past few nights have been restless. Sunday night did not fall asleep until 1 am only to be woken up at 5 to go to work, had a sore day, ached all over and just wanted sleep. Monday night I took a sleeping aid, it helped me fall asleep but was woken with pain throughout the night. Today my wrists and fingers feel as though they are on fire, someone get a hose and put it out please.!! (hey u gotta laugh sometimes!) I'm not very productive at work, got the tables and microwaves washed I guess that's all that really matters, I did try and mop, didn't work out. Now I'm hiding in the washcar for a few minuets to take a break and guess what! I found an app for my iPhone that let's me update my blog!! Henderson how I'm writing while at work. On another good note, guess who has a date! That's rught me!! Not mentioning his name but I like him very much, he makes me forget about everything that has happened this past couple of weeks and I feel healthier when around him! Wish me the best of luck! I deserve some lovin to!!! Ok so I guess it's time to suck up the pain, the work day is almost done. 3 hours out of 10 left!! Yay!!! And yes don't worry I'll update again later for all u curious wonders!!


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Lesson Learned

Today I've been very sore. I guess it could be from snowboarding yesterday, but now I know what to expect if I go again! Even though it was not a very good day I still managed to take my little man to get his hair cut and pick up my new meds. Work tomorrow should be interesting, I hope if I go to bed somewhat early it wont be so bad. There isnt really to much to write about today but I figured I should write something. I highly suggest if your reading this to go to the side of my blog and click on the spoon theory its a very good way to explain how I feel every day! Love you all!

Lupus

I have been doing some reasearch on Lupus and have seen some awareness pictures, most have to do with a wolf or butterfly as there symbol. I became very curious on why they chose a wolf and a butterfly so I looked it up!

Lupus is the Latin word for wolf! The disease was named because of a wolf-bite shaped rash (the butterfly rash) that appears across the nose and cheeks of many lupus patients.

Now you may be wondering what is Lupus, So I will expain it as best as I can!
Lupus is an autoimmune disease that can affect various parts of the body, including the skin, joints, heart, lungs, blood, kidneys and brain. Normally the body's immune system makes proteins called antibodies, to protect the body against viruses, bacteria, and other foreign materials. These foreign materials are called antigens. In an autoimmune disorder like lupus, the immune system cannot tell the difference between foreign substances and its own cells and tissues. The immune system then makes antibodies directed against itself. These antibodies -- called "auto-antibodies" (auto means 'self') cause inflammation, pain and damage in various parts of the body.For most people, lupus is a mild disease affecting only a few organs. For others, it may cause serious and even life-threatening problems. Although epidemiological data on lupus is limited, studies suggest that more than 16,000 Americans develop lupus each year.

Intense sun exposure can trigger lupus flares. Sensitivity to the sun occurs in about one of every three lupus patients.

January 30th, My First Blog!

Ok, so my first few blogs might be kinda strange cuz I have never done this before! But here is my story!

At the beginning of October I started to notice my joints would become very sore after walking or any activity, at first I thought nothing of it and thought maybe it would go away. After 2 months of the pain getting worse I decided to see my family Doctor. I was told it was most likely a virus and it would go away in another month or so. Well a month went by and pains were still becomeing more frequent and painful so I went back again, This time some minor blood work was done and all came back normal, but pain was still progressing. At this point it has started to affect my job, I would have to stop everything I was doing and sit for at least a half hour. At my work if your caught sitting your in big trouble, I eventually had to tell my boss what has been happening to me and that is something I did not want to do. By this point I was frusterated and stressed and wanted some answers, I brought my mom to the doctors with me and we asked to be refered to a specialist. The wait was suposed to be 3-6 months. A few weeks after the referal was sent off the pains got unbarable and nothing would bring them down, I was at work when this all happened, Stabbing and burning pains in every joint, biggest headache ever, very heavy chest and hard to breath, light headed and blured vision. Was probably one of the scariest things that has ever happend to me. My mom came and picked me up and we went in to the U of A hospital. They changed my meds and gave me a shot of Toridol, wich took away only the head ache. My appointment for the Reumatoligist was bumped ahead drastically, was seen the next week! She sent me for some tests, and gave me the results to the previest blood tests I did a month before, wich had possitive Lupus antibodies! Ya thank you medi clinic for calling to tell me I could have Lupus! So my new doctor sent me for some better tests to help diagnose what ever it is that is causing this grief! Ive gotten to the point were I know its something, and im more than likely going to have it for the rest of my life, I would like to be diagnosed so I can move on and start my new life and make the best of it! I plan on staying healthy, making a better diet plan and staying active, but first I need to be stress free! This coming Firday I have a bone scan, so I hope that goes well.

Im kind of nervous, scared, worried. Lots of tears at night. Bad dreams, sore days. Some days I even just want to be left alone, or just spend it with my son Aron. Im still new to this and dont know what to do or how to handle it. I do know that I am so very thankfull of my family and firends! Especially my mom and dad, the past few years would have been so hard with out them! My sisters teach me everyday that they`re watching and learning from me. My son, well he is the light of my life and I think I would go crazy without him by my side! Even on the worst and painful day he can still make me smile! Im not sure how but its almost like he can tell mommy does not feel good today because on those days all he will want to do is cuddle and not rugh house or play. I dont have a clue what I would do without any of them! I know that the rest of my family has me in there thoughts and prayers as well and Im so thankfull for them as well! I guess Family is all you need to be truely happy, no matter how sick or healthy you are!